igoo wanna

hello. this is yoshi, kristens, roomates, pet iguana speaking…err typing

it is now day 57 of my capture. im surviving but barely. my skin seems to peel off every other day or so…which mistifys me since i drink enough water to drown a small baby. i wander around the room all day only to have horrific encounters with piles of dirty laundry, trash cans that shouldve been emptied weeks ago, and feminine products which gang up on me by the thousands so i must knock every single one of them down….every day. sometimes i run into this other iguana….he seems to be in a similar situation or else he is mocking me because he does everything i do exactly. my owner likes to tell me its just some piece of glass but i know she is keeping something from me. the birds outside the window mock me. they see i cannot escape so they fly by to remind me of their freedom. in order to resist my torture i drop amazingly stenchful piles of poo…i can see this displeases the master but it still does me no good. IF ONLY I HAD NOT ALREADY BEEN BRAINWASHED TO ONLY POO IN THE CAGE! alass. i WILL escape…and my first victim will definetly be kristen. i can already see the fear in her eyes when i scurry at her tail snapping jaws clenched and freakishly long toe nails stretched. MUHAHAHA I AM EEEEVVVIIIL!


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